Charlie Kelly
'''Charlie Kelly is 's childhood friend, as well as a member of the Gang that runs Paddy's Pub. At one point he was a co-owner of Paddy's Pub, but he sold his shares to Dennis and Mac for, among other things, half a sandwich. (The Gang Sells Out) Charlie shares an apartment with his best friend Frank Reynolds, who may possibly be his biological father. The most tedious and disgusting tasks at the bar are referred to as "Charlie Work", even when Charlie is temporarily spared from performing them. Physical Appearance Charlie is short and thin with dark hair and a goatee. He often appear nervous and agitated. Charlie's signature attire throughout the series is seen whenever he is at home: a holey black t-shirt depicting a shiny black horse, and an old pair of long thermal underwear. Personality Arguably the most unhappy member of the gang, Charlie is a volatile individual who is prone to Al Pacino-styled outbursts. Charlie repeatedly shows more empathy for people than the rest of The Gang, and operates on a higher ethical level than them. He often demonstrates a deeper understanding of right and wrong, perhaps due to a lifetime of mistreatment by other people. Charlie has a tendency to dress up as characters and lose himself in fantasies based on movies he's seen. He has dressed up and pretended to be the following characters: * Vietnam War veteran Ron Kovic from Born on the Fourth of July (Charlie Gets Crippled) * Corruption-fighting police officer Serpico played by Al Pacino (Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City) While dressing up as these individuals, Charlie often loses track of reality and literally adopts their personality and idiosyncrasies. This inability to separate fantasy from reality is a trait shared by his biological father Frank, who sometimes tells stories from the movie Rambo as if they happened to him. (Mac and Dennis: Manhunters) He also created the character "Greenman". Charlie is a shoplifter, and claims to "steal lots of things". The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo He enjoys seeing the other members of The Gang embarrassed. In "Dennis And Dee's Mom Is Dead," he is eager to have someone read to him from Dee's middle school diary so he can laugh at her difficulties as a disabled adolescent. Charlie has been caught masturbating by several members of the gang. Dee caught him masturbating to Dennis' cartoon drawings of large breasted women in The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo. She also accused him of stealing Dennis' erotic memoir in order to masturbate to its pictures in Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life. Frank also mentioned that he likes to hide inside of the apartment couch in order to catch Charlie "pounding off". (A Very Sunny Christmas) Skills and Abilities Despite his apparent lack of intelligence, Charlie has displayed some unexpected skills and abilities: * He is the most skilled musician in the group, even implying that he is a savant. He writes an entire musical in The Nightman Cometh. He also has displayed skill in playing electric keyboard. Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person * Charlie has also directed several productions: a musical, a video of Dennis and Mac threatening jihad, a video of Dennis to promote his run for office, and some of Sweet Dee's viral YouTube videos. * Charlie has a prodigious ability to handle drugs and sedatives. He consumes an enormous quantity of sedative-stuffed brownies in The Gang Dances Their Asses Off * He enjoys cooking, which he often does on a hotplate in his apartment. * He is also adept at sewing, which allows him to maintain the few pieces of clothing that he owns. The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo * Charlie is an acclaimed "great referee". (Charlie Wants An Abortion) * He also has a renowned method of cleaning toilets and urinals. * He is extremely good at dominoes. (The Gang Gets Racist) Dennis and Mac frequently manipulate Charlie into tests of his fortitude, such as hitting him over the head with beer bottles and chairs or having him tow Dennis' Range Rover through the streets of Philadelphia. They consider Charlie to be almost impossible to injure. (Hundred Dollar Baby) Charlie is also surprisingly adept at concocting elaborate plans to achieve his desires. He has also intricately memorized and even mapped out the air ducts and vents throughout Paddy's Pub. It is realized that Charlie sometimes seeks refuge and solitude there. It is the only access to "Charlie's bad room", in which Charlie likes to go to "be alone and break bottles". The Gang Gets Held Hostage Weaknesses Charlie lives in squalor. Several people have referred to his dingy apartment as a "shithole". says this in The Gang Goes Jihad His poverty is in part caused by a tendency to make "bad investments". Charlie mentions this in Gun Fever, when his landlord Hwang is bugging him about being late on his rent. At one point, Charlie sells a "shit load" of his shares of Paddy's to Mac for half a sandwich. (The Gang Sells Out) Charlie has limited personal hygiene. Dennis says that he has never seen Charlie put on deodorant; Charlie admits that he only washes his testicles every Friday (The Gang Dances Their Asses Off). The Waitress also noted once that Charlie "smells really bad". (The Gang Sells Out) Charlie often exhibits difficulty reading and writing, and is often accused of being illiterate and "retarded" by other characters. Mac even went as far as claiming "No one understands the subtleties of Charlie's retardation better than me." Charlie misread a contract in The Gang Dances Their Asses Off that resulted in his putting the bar at risk of being lost in a contest. He was unable to write clear lyrics in The Nightman Cometh, and needed help from Artemis. Charlie is sometimes unable to comprehend what people are talking about, and has a poor grasp of history and current events. He mentions that Israel is in a tough situation because of "that whole tsunami" and the "superdome thing". (The Gang Goes Jihad) He is extremely prone to electrocution, having been electrocuted over 500 times. Like Deandra, however, he suffers from stage fright and becomes nauseated when performing in front of live audiences. Charlie frequently abuses inhalants such as glue and spray paint. In addition, Charlie has abused or been addicted to: * anabolic steroids (Hundred Dollar Baby) * copious amounts of alcohol * LSD (The Gang Gets Invincible) * poppers * cocaine * crack. Early Life Frank Reynolds is almost certainly Charlie's real father. Frank had a one night stand with his mother 30 years ago. (Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad) Frank forced Charlie's mom to have an abortion but it "didn't take" and Charlie was born three months later. (The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby) When Charlie was a young boy, his mom would sleep with a variety of men on Christmas Day. It is strongly implied that she had sex for money. (A Very Sunny Christmas) Charlie was almost certainly sexually abused as a child. When the McPoyle brothers claimed they were molested by Coach Murray, he had a strange reaction. Later, Charlie repeatedly wrote music about the "Nightman", a spirit-like being who crawled into his room at night when he was young and takes hold of him with his "strong hands", and "fills him up". The words Charlie uses to describe his transformation into the Nightman undoubtedly describes a violent rape by a man. This is obvious to every character on the show but Charlie himself. It is strongly suggested that the Nightman was actually Charlie's Uncle Jack. When Charlie was young, his best friend was Mac. Every Christmas, they'd get together and throw rocks at trains. (A Very Sunny Christmas) In eighth grade, Charlie won a dance competition to "Take My Breath Away" by the band, Berlin. (The Gang Dances Their Asses Off) In high school, Charlie was oblivious to the fact that he wasn't considered cool. The Waitress Is Getting Married Season One Season Two Please insert plot summary here. Season Three Please insert plot summary here. Season Four Please insert plot summary here. Trivia * Charlie has a dislike for lizards. * Charlie also dislikes people's knees. (The Waitress Is Getting Married) * Charlie likes "milk steaks". (The Waitress Is Getting Married) * His favorite drugs appear to be alcohol and glue. Notes * Charlie's name has been used in the titles for nine different episodes. ** : Charlie Wants An Abortion, Charlie Has Cancer, Charlie Got Molested ** : Charlie Gets Crippled, Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass ** : Mac and Charlie Die (Part 1), Mac and Charlie Die (Part 2) ** : Mac and Charlie Write a Movie Relationships Charlie has had little success in dating, and spends much of his spare time stalking the Waitress. He goes to great lengths to win her over, in spite of her declarations that she will never be interested in him. * Charlie and Dennis * Charlie and Mac * Charlie and Dee * Charlie and Frank Bangs Charlie is the only member of the gang who has yet to have sex with anyone over the course the show. He has come close to banging several women: * The Waitress - Mac and Dennis pay her to sleep with Charlie, but he doesn't make a move on her. (Charlie Has Cancer) * Sun-Li - Sun-Li follows him home and moves into his apartment, but he doesn't even kiss her (even though they are briefly engaged). Charlie laters discovers that she is only 12 years old. (The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation) See Also * Charlie's apartment * Charlie's illiteracy References Category:Main characters Category:Season 1 characters Category:Season 2 characters Category:Season 3 characters Category:Season 4 characters Category:Season 5 characters Category:The Gang